Of Elvesand Men
by Arabella Thorne
Summary: Observations from an admitted newbie here and Elrond fan on...the elves and their lives in out tales...I am undoubtedly wearing a "flame me" sign here...but seriously, I'd rather be in Rivendell!!


Of Elves and Men  
  
An admittedly rambling observation:  
  
I have been reading and contributing to FF.net for little over a month right now and I just wanted to make some observations about our perceptions about ...the elves.  
  
  
  
  
  
How much we love (envy) their beauty, their otherworldliness, their abilities far beyond those of mortal men.  
  
How many of us write about them! (Poor Legolas!! Think of all the trees that have died for printed tales about the beleaguered, modern girl- infested Prince of Mirkwood!!) And Haldir and Glorfindel and all the folks in the Silmarillion...  
  
And dear Elrond, my favorite.  
  
We have certainly put words in HIS mouth and an amazing array of healing abilities, knowledge,.... sang froid,...even a touch of the urbane. How can we resist? With such a write up as he gets from his creator for a character that appears just about as long as he does in Peter Jackson's film.:  
  
"The face of Elrond was ageless, neither old nor young, though in it was written the memory of many things both glad and sorrowful. His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars. Venerable he seemed as a king crowned with many winters, and yet hale as a tried warrior in the fullness of his strength. He was the Lord of Rivendell and mighty among both Elves and Men."  
  
And then there is the actor who portrayed in him in Jackson's admirable movie, Hugo Weaving.:..."I realized how much had to be worked out about this character: the idea of portraying someone who is immortal, for one thing; plus the fact that he is noble, wise, powerful, good---and beautiful! I began to think he was altogether impossible to play!" And later in the same interview he adds:...."There is, therefore, a sadness about Elrond which made me decide-although he is an Elf---he also needed to have humanity, and that is what I have tried to bring to my performance."  
  
(And of course, all the fangirls rise up and applaud madly)  
  
Herein lies the rub: we have tried to make the elves too human.... It is natural: we are all human writing these tales and it's our natural point of reference.  
  
Reread the chapter in The Hobbit when Bilbo and company first met the elves of Rivendell! They are singing songs, up in the ...trees!! Hardly your regular howdy-do. (and granted, I think the Professor rethought his elves some between the Hobbit and the trilogy)  
  
The elves are NOT like you and I...they are, well....fey.... and alien. Their eyes see a world we have no comprehension of. Of course they can see the forest for the trees, but because of their connection to life around them, their interests in the other peoples of Middle Earth is academic at least and practical when necessary. Otherwise, seriously, unless Middle Earth is being threatened, they seem to have little desire and interest in dealing with humans especially, and would avoid them when expedient.  
  
As writers, we make them laugh and love (a million different ways!! Saw a tale about Elrond and an....Ent!!), fight, pout and generally raise a ruckus. That would be the human in us.  
  
I love writing about Elrond. (I make him rather urbane and chatty. Though I suspect this is not very Elvish.) He is sort of my ideal man/elf: wise, talented (we can ONLY imagine). A great guy to have around when your leg is broken and probably has one heck of a singing voice too.  
  
But I suspect he does not go on and on.  
  
I suspect silence for him, is voluminous. I suspect his healing abilities are awesome...in a world where dying from an infected fingernail is a real possibility. But they are probably rarely used. (Elves, as you know class, don't get sick and they are lightfooted upon the earth and so rarely if ever break a bone...of course there are stray orc arrows...) His knowledge is wide and deep, but I suspect it is mostly saved for meetings of the White Council or the ears of mages, stewards and kings. Hardly spent on lost girls from San Bernandino in jeans and sneakers. Or half-elven girls just discovering their heritage, or other wanderers from distant lands...  
  
And what is Rivendell? A high mountain lodge? a hospital? A wonderful retirement villa nestled in the spectacular Misty Mountains, miles from any modern convenience, etc. etc. A romantic rendezvous? Place of intrigue? Lust and lots of soap opera shenanigans behind closed doors (with requisite hot tubs/natural hot spring pools and cheerily burning fireplaces)?  
  
Rivendell is a refuge for ....the elves.  
  
What do they do there? Haven't a clue in heck, but I can extrapolate: Maintain the balance of nature therein, crafts: they are wearing clothes, there are bows and arrows and jewelry etc. Someone has to be making these things, even in Tolkien's world (and I know some of those items are of Dwarven make). But they are not made for sale or to impressed, just for the sheer beauty and joy of the process. They read, sing and dance and make music...  
  
Honestly, most of us (I said MOST not all) would be BORED to death, even with just looking at them after a week, okay, maybe two. None of us speak Sindarin or Quenya...and guess what, I bet they don't speak English (even as an old form of Dwarvish) and would probably get bored with us, if we hung around too long...like old gym socks. Granted some of us may have the skills to engage in weaving and jewelry making or calligraphy....but most human interests here (all right, including sex!) are going to be.... thin. No intrigue, rarely any last minute rescues, mostly singing and dancing and....well maybe chess (or its equivalent).  
  
Ultimately, our sensibilities are just too different. We like instant gratification and they take the ...LONG view...way way long...  
  
And though it is hard to believe, they do this...forever... It is like I said at the outset: they are not like you and I, and their motivations for doing things are probably and mostly, not like ours.  
  
Of course there is lust and passion...otherwise there would be no little elves. Or murders. Or wars. Or Silmarils.  
  
(But notice how few and far between they are. I mean, isn't there like a thousand years between Arwen and her brothers??. And I know part of it is just that time to them is not what time is to us...but still...a millenium? ..Somehow, I suspect they can control conception because being immortal, you'd think Middle Earth would be knee deep in elves by the time we get to them in the trilogy! And I do know they say their numbers are dwindling and I am sure it is because their time is coming to an end and no more elves NEED to be born.)  
  
We know they are not colorless wooden statues (Thank goodness!!). But even their lusts and passions are going to be way different (there's that whole immortality thing) and probably not consummated in a quick one behind the tree or in the hot tub. Or at least, rarely. Though the Ents take an even LONGER view, elves do not strike me as hasty...unless swallowed by overriding passion.  
  
Actually I imagine Elvish sex is pretty different than what we're used to (All that stamina, otherworldliness and immortality would lead me to conjecture....long...couplings...)  
  
All right we won't go there right now!  
  
And of course, the Silmarillion is chock full of Elvish tales of desperate love and the horrors of war...not a cheerful tale in the lot. But passionate. The Silmarillion strikes me as the distillation of Tolkien's sensibilities regarding the elves (I know there are humans and others in the book): Grand Large Fatalistic and Tragic.  
  
It's a wonder anyone gets up in the morning (Wait: wrong, it's their DESTINY to get up in the morning) (Sorry, couldn't resist!)  
  
But I digress: Ah yes, the elves...  
  
And all our tales on FF.net...so few of them really deal with Elvish elves...mostly humanized ones. Ooh, and I am a big sinner in that category...  
  
I guess its because we WANT them to take notice of us poor pathetic mortals and our 15 minutes of fame. We want them to care and protect us(all right and marry and have children too) and the characters we fling at them willy- nilly from all sides. We want to be on the receiving end of all that knowledge and wisdom and compassion.....  
  
One of my very favorite tales here (among many) was called something like The Fellowship of the Thousands, whose plot tries to include everyone that has wanted to be a part of the Fellowship or just plain visit Middle Earth and straighten out poor mis-guided Boromir, steal the Ring and do it themselves, engage in strange couplings among hobbits, ad infinitum (I was going to say ad nauseum...but well, that wouldn't be fair, possibly correct...but not fair).  
  
It also had the plains of Rohan burning up because of all the wannabe Rohhirrim and Rangers setting a thousand campfires.....and best of all, a naked disgruntled Legolas, who wanders by saying something like..."don't ask..." priceless!!  
  
We overpopulate the field with our wishes, dreams and desires, and of course really rile up the poor purists...who want to see more Tolkien in a world where there is sadly NO more Tolkien to give it cachet. So they will daintily accept the existence of tales that they consider closest in form, language and pacing as the Professors...but sadly, AREN'T the Professors. So they ultimately are just as empty as the Mary-Sues and the fond Legolas stories (And what's up with the torturing of characters??? YOUCH)  
  
And it cracks me up those that obsess about the proper use of language,(anyone know where one can HEAR Sindarin spoken, other than the Tolkien readings?) timelines, events and people. Hardly seems worth the effort, and frequently comes off as a pallid knee-jerk response; the writer knowing its a hopeless cause the minute they put their fingers to the keys.  
  
FF.net seems hardly the site for declaiming against the Philistines! Just scanning the titles will tell you that! Really, like trying to stop a flood with cardboard walls.  
  
Verisimilitude is an admirable trait and can be made awesome in presentation...but frequently settles for the academic and dare I say...the dry approach. No, no you don't have to cry buckets, write about flaming multi-hued sunsets and spend a paragraph describing Aragorn's armor to avoid academia...its just imitation Tolkien is well, still imitation and can be smelled a mile away...no matter how fond the flatterer. (And for me language is a tool, not a means to an end. I think one of Tolkien's major strengths for me is his descriptive abilities...)  
  
And usually, funnily enough, the most Tolkienesque tales of homage involve the elves...even purists cannot resist those pretties. As I said, they are the distillation, the most refined and pristine of Tolkien's creations. Ever above us, and the messes we wallow in. Humans in Tolkien's world, though noble and long-suffering or tortured remain....human and too like us.  
  
It's those elves...if we can just drag them down to our level, then maybe we can be like them...or persuade them to like us...or something.  
  
Okay, I guess I have gone on here long enough.  
  
And this is really not to get people all ticked off, it is just me making observations.  
  
If I didn't like LOTR, I would be writing other things or go elsewhere for my pleasures.  
  
I shall continue to write my tales involving Elrond, I shall continue to encourage everyone to try their hand at writing...anything, even awkward poorly, researched tales of teen-aged angst and Legolas...because that's what this site is all about.  
  
I think even Tolkien's elves would encourage diversity and creativity!  
  
And that's why I love it here!  
  
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The quote on Elrond comes from JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings illustrated by Alan Lee, Houghton Mifflin 1991, pg.243 (this is the single edition of all three books)  
  
Mr Weavings comments come from: The Lord of The Rings Official Movie Guide by Brian Sibley, Houghton Mifflin, 2001; pg.63 


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